Even more sincere answers to stupid questions

For better or worse, I am able to see some of the search terms that are bring people to this site. Some are tragic, some are misdirected, and many people attempt to use google as an oracle. As I’ve done a couple times before, her are some sincere answers to some stupid questions entered into google over the past few months.

grading hell

According to yelp, Hell gets 3.5 stars out of a possible 5 stars.

stupid science questions

The only stupid science questions are those with answers that are not falsifiable through experimentation.

what are you doing for vacation

Thanks for asking! Over the winter break I’ll be visiting with family in Ohio. After that, I have a research trip planned to the Northern Territory of Australia, but I am taking one day in Sydney on the way home to take in a museum or two.

is it rude to put a professor’s name down as a reference for grad school if they haven’t agreed to do it

Yes. More important for you, it also might be inadvisable.

what do you call a girl professor

Dr. or Professor. You bigoted butthead.

the tricks they dont tell us about earning ph.d s

Getting a PhD doesn’t necessarily require being smart, just working hard. But being smart kinda helps you be successful.

analyze a situation to the point of exhaustion, then throw caution to the wind

That’s what I was thinking when I started this site.

baby in grad school

They just keep getting younger, don’t they?

how it sounds when editor reject a paper after review

“After considering the recommendations of the reviewers, and considering my own assessment, I have decided to reject this manuscript for publication.” Or, something like this.

disadvantage of giving students extra syllabus

It just gives students one more thing that they won’t read.

small thoughts by scientists

“I wonder if I should eat lunch now or in half an hour?” or “Are these pants clean enough that I can wear them again?”

far out high school labs

Like, man, I can tell you about a super cool restriction enzyme activity.

Small things to knit

Booties. Scarves. Hats. Beer Koozies.

whn a pofessor says 5 points extra credit onto your exam grade is 5 points added to my score?

You would think so, unless she or he is lying to you or forgot to make a change in the gradebook.

what is the affirmative from school when students don’t have candy

Yes, they have no candy. They have no candy today.

stupid google questions

You’ve come to the right place.

adverse effect of science on humanities

We scientists bring in a lot more returned indirect, so administrators tend to not spend much money on humanities.

i’ve accepted a verbal offer but i need more time

If you’ve accepted the offer, why would you need more time? If a contract shows up, you either need to sign it, or tell them you’re not signing it. You don’t have to make a binding commitment until you get a contract. You could do some things to try to delay the arrival of the actual contract for you to sign, but if you are too difficult then you might just lose the offer.

i cheated my way through college

Congratulations. May I suggest this as your next google search?

the philosophers kickass

I agree. I think Kierkegaard was a total beast.

is PNAS a good journal

Yes, it is. Except for the “contributed” papers which can be just made up looney bunk.

people with small heads

It’s weird, huh? Some have small melons, some got big noggins. You can expect phenotypic variability in any population, nothing to fret about. Head size has nothing to do with smarts.

when is a good time to have a baby

As I learned in this crazy-good book, the answer is: the middle of the night. That is when you’re in a social group and predators are less likely to eat you while you’re busy having a baby.

can you sue a teacher for unfair grade

No, but you can file a grade grievance with the university. Or, if you’re rich, then your family can hold a donation hostage.

where do you have lunch

Sometimes at my desk, sometimes outside. Today, in my backyard.

i raised my hand in class

Would you like a sticker?

should i email my professor if i missed class

You should check your syllabus for attendance policies. I bet the answer is in there.

i like my science class because

Umm, you tell me. Why do you?

name a school subject that you don’t know much about

Accounting.

teaching is easy

Okay, if you say so. So is being an air traffic controller. But to do it well, then that might be something else.

do professors talk about their students

Yes, we do. Not that much, but sometimes.

if i am chosen for the position

Then you accept the position, or you don’t.

a woman having a baby at school

No time to get to the hospital?

find the professional standards of practice for your field. do they address spiritual care? if so, how? if not, how would you address the need for spiritual care in your field?

They do not. I would not address such a need, as I do not think such a need exists.

simpson’s paradox

How is it that white people are yellow but people of other ethnicities aren’t purple or green or orange?